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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates. People repeating the same movie quotes over and over until words have no meaning peanut tambourine ocelot"

"Here's the thing about the paleo diet. If cavemen could have eaten donuts they would have."

"I wish I was filled with pepperoni but instead I am filled with guilt & despair"

"What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do? Pee in a cup."

"Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice."

"A group of the best ISIS fighters mistakingly kidnapped Chuck Norris When they realized who they had, they beheaded each other"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him."

"Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest tampon ever found They are trying to find out what period it came from"

"How to get the attention of a crew of bricklayers... Yell ""Eh, Tony!"""

"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."