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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with a breast implant? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. Heard very recently and just had to share."

"I donate money to single mothers going to nursing school... One dollar at a time."

"Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry? A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top she's old enough. If it isn't cut the barrel down a bit."

"My father died on 9/11, I will never forget his last words Allahu Akbar. [Do keep in mind that this is not my joke, I just want to spread laughs]"

"The guy I've been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't own any animals."

"Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a crime spree He's wanted dead and alive"

"What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza? Even if it is cold it's still good."

"Where does a vampire go to buy his sheets and towels? Bloodbath&Beyond"

"Where do hipsters buy their clothes? Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH."

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy. He'll let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."