231463

Joke of the Day

"I don't need a panic room; I can panic perfectly fine anywhere."

"Roses are red... Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van."

"Where does Kylie Minogue get her kebabs? Jason's Doner-Van"

"What do you say to a chav that has got a job? Bigmac and fries please"

"[cop car] Buzzfeed Guy: It's okay I work for Buzzfeed Cop: You robbed 10 banks Buzzfeed Guy: You wouldn't believe how much I got from #6!"

"The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw."

"What's the longest word in the English language? Smiles. There's a mile between the s's."

"If you only see one movie this summer, maybe see more movies, they're great!"

"Girlfriend said she went to the doctor. He said she couldn't have sex. I asked, ""what did your dentist say?"""

"Two mexicans are in a car. Who drives? The police officer"