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Joke of the Day

"What's the longest word in the English language? Smiles. There's a mile between the s's."

"[class trip] I'm farmer Joe, this is my farm DO U HAVE COWS? Yes, it's a dairy farm DO U HAVE WHALES? Kid, why wouldn't we have whales?"

"Uncle Frank's will stipulates he be cremated & his ashes added to the vegetable water sprayers at the local grocery store. He will be mist."

"Why do they put cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people they were slaves before they became drug dealers."

"Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM? Because he charges!"

"I just farted & my dog looked at me like i asked her a calculus question"

"what goes thump thump thump squish thump thump thump squish a Caterpillar with one wet sneaker."

"kids now have dating apps but back in my day we had to run through the city shirtless with a megaphone screaming ""why does no one want me"""

"eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches."

"Did you see the preview for the movie about premature ejaculation? It's coming soon."