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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red... Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van."
Next Joke
"I am so bad at self-deprecation"
"How many letters are in the alphabet during the Christmas Season? Only 25...because there's Noel."
"What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea? One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs."
"How do you call a black guy that uses testosterone boosters? Testostyrone."
"I went on a date with a girl I met from twitter once. It didn't work out, but he's one of the nicest guys I've ever met."
"When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too."
"""I'd hit that"" -old people who drive"
"What job do you never stop training for? Conductor"
"Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?"