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Joke of the Day

"If I were a drug dealer and rapper... ...my stage name would be MC M-Prime."

"I told this girl that I was an architect. It's true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up."

"I tried to impress a girl by putting my foot down on the pedal... ..turns out she'd seen a bin open like that before."

"My wife asked me to go out and get something that makes her look pretty. So I went out and got drunk."

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."

"A gay vegan atheist walked into a bar.. I knew he was because he told everyone in five seconds."

"Life can be compared to a 'Choose your own adventure' book. Sometimes there's a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear."

"PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher ""can i use the bathroom?"" ""i don't know, CAN you?"" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*"

"TIFU when my HS friends and me tried to pull a prank on a substitute teacher wrong sub"

"Someone told me I have no sense of humor I don't get it"