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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one."

"What did the baby seal order for lunch? The club sandwich."

"A little boy and a little girl are having a bath... When the little girl looks down at the little boy's crotch and notices his penis. ""Can I touch it?"" She asks him. ""No! You already broke yours off!"""

"Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype"

"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?"

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."

"Knock, knock. Honey, have you finished taking pictures of yourself for facebook? Daddy needs to take a sh!t.."

"Your mom's so poor She has to name her town in animal crossing Value Village."

"What is a Jewish person's favorite job? A lox-smith"

"Mad Man Wife: How would you feel if I die? Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you? Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!"