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Joke of the Day

"Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES."

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's a facepalm, but I am thinking of you."

"I thought I understood the Saying ""When Pigs Fly"". but then, the Swine Flu."

"You know what's pretty cool? A cellar :)"

"My urologist told me I need to stop masturbating... I asked him why and he told me it's very innapropriate masturbate during a physical exam."

"Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a ledge... ba-dum chsh!"

"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? Because he was out-standing in his field."

"[Spoilers] What do gay dogs eat? Ramsay's dick"

"ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that"

"How do you tell the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite Muslim? The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them."