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Joke of the Day

"I've just been fired from my job at the clock-making factory... ...must have been all those extra hours I've been putting in."

"The closest I've come to a threesome is watching my wife and the nurse roll their eyes at the same time while I'm getting weighed."

"How does the astronaut cut his hair? Eclipse"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Darth Vader Barbie ...with plastic helmet; pull the string and she sounds like James Earl Jones"

"I'm fine with bestiality as long as it's consensual. Neigh means neigh"

"School is like a penis... Long and hard unless you're Asian"

"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon.... I want to see which one comes first."

"Why do they call a horse a horse? Because they speak English."

"Why were the camels wearing sandals? To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand? To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on."

"I have found the secret to intradimensional travel"