114212

Joke of the Day

"I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon.... I want to see which one comes first."

"What do you call the person who revised Hitler's speeches? Grammar Nazi"

"did you know they are planning a sequel to fifty shades of grey in which both leads are played by men? they are gonna call it fifty shades of gay"

"What should planes be made of to fend off islamists? Allahminium! Since Muslims cant desecrate anything with Allah on it!"

"A Horse Walks Into A Bar And the bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies, ""My alcoholism is destroying my family"""

"I asked my doctor ""Just how bad is my halitosis?"" ""Pretty fucking bad,"" he replied, hanging up the phone."

"They say ""pick your battles"", so today Oreos win."

"This list is unbelievable! Number 3 is just SHOCKING; Wait till you see what number 2 is and what tops this list is just amazing! Unbelievable List: 1. Amazing 2. 3. Static electricity"

"Why did the fish monger cross the road? Just for the halibut."

"How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair? Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking."