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Joke of the Day

"I said goodbye to everyone at a party and then mistakenly walked into a closet and was too embarrassed to walk back out so I live here now."

"ELI5 Why would an alien ever visit Roswell? ________________ Fill in the blank or answer the question."

"Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just 1. It's offensive that you thought this was a joke."

"Dog Joak! FIRSED PART OF JOAK: how manny dogs does it take to scroo up a lite bulb? SECKENED PART OF JOAK: it dipends how you pyle the bodys."

"Why did it take so long for Americans to beat Germany in WW2? They weren't Russian."

"A man proposes to his girlfriend. She has one condition. Syphilis."

"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."

"The U.S. is scheduled to play Germany soon at the World Cup. President Obama and German Chancellor Angela Merkel already have a bet going. The loser keeps Hasselhoff."

"What do windows feel when they get hurt? Pane!"