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Joke of the Day

"The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved. And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers."

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with a light on."

"""Oh love what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?"" she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes. ""I don't know but I promise I'll never do it again."""

"Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask for directions."

"The next President of the United States of America, Donald Trump."

"What's Santas favorite band? Sleigher."

"Want to play the rape game? said Guy. ""No"" said Girl. ""That's the spirit!"" said Guy. Girl is now screwed."

"Bra & Hat What did the bra say to the hat? ""You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift."""

"I just saved thousands on child support by never getting laid."

"Pavlov walks into a bar. Ivan Pavlov walks into a bar. The bartender rings the bell for last drinks, and he thinks ""shit - I forgot to feed the dog"""