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Joke of the Day
"I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."
"[Cop arresting a centipede] *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *opens crate of new handcuffs* *clink* *clink* *clin"
"My doctor told me he appreciates my patience. I told him that I appreciate that he appreciates his patients."
"When I was young, my dad told me chocolate milk came from brown cows. I really envied little black breastfed babies after that."
"UKIP's Policies"
"ME AS A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR: I signed you both up for Tinder *1 week later ME: You still want a divorce? THEM: OMG NO THAT WAS HORRIFYING"
"A man sued an airline company after they lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case."
"I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet!"
"A jew just won the nobel prize. what do you say to him? congrajulations Edit: do those who downvoted know the real spelling of congratulations ?"