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Joke of the Day
"What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ? An elephant's shadow !"
Next Joke
"Told my GF: ""We haven't had sex for almost a month."" She replied: ""Speak for yourself."""
"I bet if Jesus were here right now, he'd be like ""Toilets are amazing."""
"""hello pretty lady."" [i slide down the bar] ""what's your name?"" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye."
"How did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms"
"Cool puppy. What's his name? ""Patches"" Aww, that's a cute name. Because he has those spots? ""Nah...it's cause he's trying to quit smoking"""
"what do they call a hot looking girl who will love you and stay devoted to you forever? let me know once you find one"
"My younger dog can go to sleep in about 4 seconds. The older one takes about 6 because she's got more shit to worry about, I guess."
"Wife asks his husband how many women he had slept with... Husband proudly replies, ""Only you darling!"" ""With the others I was awake..."""
"Why are women like parachutes? Because if they don't spread they are worthless."