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Joke of the Day

"""hello pretty lady."" [i slide down the bar] ""what's your name?"" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye."

Next Joke
 
"Everyone is going crazy over that Kim and Kanye named their baby ""North West"" I believe she's going straight to the top... And slightly to the left"
"[blind date] HER: lmao! You seriously wore pajamas on a first date? ME: hey!! You're not blind!!"
"A man goes to the docter Man: Well doctor, what's the diagnosis? Doctor: What's your zodiac sign? Man: Cancer. Doctor: What a coincidence!"
"How does Hitler separate his juice? By concentrate."
"Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off."
"5 Years ago today I asked a beautiful girl out on a date. Today at 3pm I asked that same girl to marry me. Both times she said no"
"Why does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D shells"
"What is it called when a hacker poops? Logging out"
"I recently dated a slutty check with a brain fetish. The experience was mindblowing!"