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Joke of the Day

"Wife asks his husband how many women he had slept with... Husband proudly replies, ""Only you darling!"" ""With the others I was awake..."""

"[Knock knock] Who's there? Allah. Allah who? #***ALLAHU AKBAR*** [everything explodes]"

"I couldn't figure out how to use my seatbelt.. Then it clicked."

"You know people who call their penis wood? Can they say they have a two-by-fore-skin?"

"The other day, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"I don't understand how there can be different shoe sizes. I mean, everyone's feet are a foot long."

"I used to date cross-eyed women just to feel better about myself after sex."

"""Count your blessings. Then count them again."" - OCD optimist"

"What was Saddam Husseins favourite TV show? Despot Housewives"

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!"