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Joke of the Day

"Realizing his terrible mistake, Judas bitterly hurled his half-eaten Klondike bar into the sea."

"6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, ""Why are you SO FAT?"" Me, ""You're inside my tummy."" 6, ""That's DISGUSTING."" Me, ""It gets worse.."""

"I eat pudding with a fork, so no, crossword puzzles aren't really my 'thing'."

"My wife gives me sound advice. 99%Sound,1%Advice."

"INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon"

"If NASA are ever going to send someone to mars to collect water samples, They're going to have to planet very carefully!"

"Hey airplane designers, why don't the people who pick the number of windows talk to the people who pick the number of rows?"

"The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large"

"What gun do you use to hunt a moose? A moosecut!"

"I thought I stepped on a Lego, but thankfully, it was just a rusty old nail."