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Joke of the Day
"If a red panda is caught stealing, what do you call it? It was caught Red Panded"
Next Joke
"You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of photoshop ended."
"Is Google a male or a female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion."
"Girls hate it when you give them Christmas presents with an implied expectation, like an iron, a food processor, or knee pads."
"Searched my teens room for drugs, was told ""you don't give me enough money for drugs."" I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance."
"What? What do you call a man with one extra finger on his left hand? John Dillinger."
"I'm no scientist but wouldn't fat bottomed girls, if anything, slow the rocking world down?"
"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"
"I told my grandmother to act her age.... then she died."
"What do you call sheep in the Middle East? Arak of lamb"