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Joke of the Day

"Searched my teens room for drugs, was told ""you don't give me enough money for drugs."" I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance."

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"[ER] HIPSTER: I fell off my acoustic motorcycle & broke my mustache twirler. DOC:... H: I fell off my bike & broke my hand. D: Rub kale on it."
"churches should have punch cards and if you go ten times you get a free sandwich"
"What do you calll a woman that people sit on ? Cher !"
"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."
"Why does Hitler has a red phone? To make Phone calls..."
"What's the cheapest present for an ophan? A tattoo with dad"
"The older I get, the more my feet hurt. I guess it's true... time wounds all heels."
"Michael J Fox SMH"
"Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting ""Mean Girls."""