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Joke of the Day

"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"

"What do you call batman when he skips church? Christian Bale"

"Why did the hipster drown in the lake? Because he went ice skating before it was cool."

"A kid asks his father what a prostitute is. And his father replies: That's a woman who sells her body to have sex. kid: Oh, I thought it was a bitch."

"What vehicle does a baker drive? A Winnebagel"

"That beard may hide a couple of your chins but it won't make you pretty, ma'am."

"Someone should call 911... ...because YouTube is having one of its daily 500 seizures."

"What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess? Shrekmate."

"The term 'Grammar Nazi' is outdated and offensive... ...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write"

"I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying."