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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I said we would only smoke after sex.... I have had the same pack of cigarettes since 2007, im starting to get worried about my wife though shes been going through 3 packs a day!"

"Kid 1: Why'd you call me Aphrodite? ""After the Greek goddess of love"" Kid 2: What about me pop? ""You're named after a famous chipmunk Alvin"""

"If you love something, set it free. If it scurries up a wall, spins a web, & eats insects, it was probably a beagle or hound of some sort."

"The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to ""watch a movie"" is actually watching a movie."

"How does a one armed man row a boat? In a circle."

"It's impossible to run in campsites. You can only ran. Because it's past tents."

"""woof woof"" -my neighbor's dog telling me his views on abortion lol nigga idk if i can agree on this one"

"Want to take the wind out of my sails? Walk past my table at the restaurant with what I thought was my meal."

"Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a snail trail"

"Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads. It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though."