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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to ""watch a movie"" is actually watching a movie."

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"I was wondering why the frisbee in the distance was getting bigger Then it hit me"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bella ! Bella who ? Bella bottom trousers !"
"You don't need to learn how to masturbate, It comes naturally."
"A QA Engineer walks into a bar an orders a beer. And orders 2 beers, and orders 7445553822 beers, and orders -1 beers, and orders asdfadf beers, and orders Robert'); DROP TABLE beers;"
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs."
"No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook."
"Donald Trump is what happens when a YouTube commenter makes a billion dollars."
"Why is it so hard to find Tylenol in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all. . . . Explanation: Parrots eat 'em all = paracetamol = acetominophen = Tylenol"
"Two Irishmen are looking for a job. They come across a sign, that reads, ""Tree Fellers"". Pat and Murphy look at each other and exclaim, ""If only Seamus was here, we would've had the job!"""