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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, set it free. If it scurries up a wall, spins a web, & eats insects, it was probably a beagle or hound of some sort."

"If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language? **An American.**"

"My boss is so nit picky that he's not even a micro manager... ...he's a quantum manager."

"The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter."

"What do you call a dictator running a bookshop? The Supreme Reader."

"What Time Did Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."

"If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them."

"Really struggling on what to get my lady for Christmas this year. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarrassing"

"There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now."