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Joke of the Day

"""woof woof"" -my neighbor's dog telling me his views on abortion lol nigga idk if i can agree on this one"

"If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym."

"knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""KGB."" ""KGB wh--"" [slap recipient of the joke] ""Vee vill ask za questions!"""

"""Let's get down to business!"" -Guy who enjoys dancing to the background noises of a local business"

"Starting with the word ""why"" and always pressing the middle option, what joke is your predictive text trying to tell us all?"

"Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate? Because his arguments *couldn't stand* against scrutiny."

"Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye? Because she was seeing somebody on the side."

"I kicked my rear-view mirror addiction... I'm never looking back."

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? 1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first."

"Why did the coke dealer retire? He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses"