40904

Joke of the Day

"Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads. It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though."

"Whenever fat people tell you they are on a diet, it just means they started dabbing their pizza with a napkin to get some of the grease off."

"Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs."

"In a recent blind taste test, a bunch of shit got spilled all over the place."

"Jesus sits down at the Last Supper with his disciples. He rises and addresses them: ""I'm the son of God."" ""No way!"" they say. ""Yahweh."""

"*throws plate of Kraft Mac and Cheese at wall* I TOLD YOU I CAN'T EAT SPICY FOOD"

"What's black on top and white at the bottom? Rape."

"The company I worked for was bought out by a billionaire from Spain... We didn't expect the Spanish Acquisition."

"X used to mark the spot but.. fuck waiting for you to get it on your own X gon deliver to you"

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."