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Joke of the Day

"ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob"

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand."

"It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol."

"Did you know that Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A, wanted a CFA sandwich for his last meal? Unfortunately, he died on a Sunday."

"Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? Because she forgot her seatbelt."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. She just holds it in place, while the world revolves around her. * Beverly Hills ninja edit... rotates to revolves"

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a park watching some kids play. The priest turns to the rabbi and says ""Man, I really wanna fuck these kids."" The Rabbi replies ""Outta what?"""

"My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She's been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease."

"So, I'm thinking of getting a sex change. Currently I have none, but I identify as someone who does. EDIT: Changed relate to identify. I think it better that way."