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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand."

"I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. But i realised a sit-down comedian was more comfortable."

"That awkward sexual tension when everyone leaves the kitchen and you're left all alone with a chocolate cake."

"A man walks into a gay bar and says... ""Whose dick do I have to suck to suck a dick around here?"" Heard it on Game Grumps."

"What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys? A neck romancer."

"What is a mouse's favourite game ? Hide and squeak !"

"Some days, my only goal that seems attainable is dying in a way so spectacular they name a new piece of protective legislation after me."

"What starts with ""p,"" ends with ""s,"" and is really long? Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

"I just had a phone call saying I'd won 250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......"

"What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"