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Joke of the Day
"It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol."
Next Joke
"How do u castrate a priest ? Kick the alter boy in the chin ;)"
"You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people."
"Sorry I threw your baby but there was a spider on her."
"What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love? A stupid Cupid!"
"I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up"
"What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow? A Chinese telephone. Wing wing. Arrow?"
"""I'm not that kind of girl."" ~That kind of girl"
"I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap."
"[job interview] ""So we'll call you & let you know. Do you have any questions?"" Yes, can you text me instead to let me know?"