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Joke of the Day

"""Hi, My name is John Foreman and I run a cabinet making business."" John said counter-productively."

"What does a lawyer wear to work? A lawsuit!"

"Why do they evacuate women and children first? You can't fix shit with all that screaming and crying. (**Yes, you can evacuate people.** Check #2 here: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/evacuate)"

"Companies should use chromosomes in advertising Because sex cells."

"How big is the US-Mexico border wall going to be? It's gonna be YUGE!!!"

"What's the difference... What's the difference between Pussy and Cunt? Pussy is warm, furry and wonderful ! Cunt is, unfortunately, in charge of pussy..."

"Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day."

"I think my husband is having an affair with the computer because he's always fucking on it."

"I can cut a dead tree in half just by looking at it I saw it with my own eyes"

"If video games actually influenced behaviour you'd see a lot more people accidentally jumping in the air when they try to open doors."