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Joke of the Day

"If video games actually influenced behaviour you'd see a lot more people accidentally jumping in the air when they try to open doors."

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"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"
"Shania Twain has worn 16 acres of denim during her lifetime"
"What do you call breads ability to smell? ... Naan sense!"
"AT&T; always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes."
"A programmer's wife says: ""go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."" He returns with 12 loaves of bread."
"What is a duck's favorite drug? You might think it's quack, but it's actually mariwaddle..."
"Why was the math teacher late for school? He took the rhombus"
"What do you call wanking in a plane? Hijacking"
"[on phone] ""Press 1 if you're a huge nerd"" ""Press 2 if you're a virgin"" ""Press 3 if y-"" STOP TALKING, DAD! I'm trying to call Xbox support"