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Joke of the Day

"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."

"My mom doesn't understand that powdered donuts are eaten over cd cases while in cars, and my friends love donuts, and that's why. (Not blow)"

"What do you get if you push a piano down a mine? A flat miner"

"What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar? a salad-manager"

"What do you call a mexican midget? A paragraph.Why?Because he's too short to be an essay."

"My wife's star sign was cancer and it's actually quite ironic how she died.. She was attacked by a crab."

"Turns out buying that meth lab on craigslist was illegal"

"My friend and I were talking about food and he said ""I'm not a big Chinese guy"" and I was like ""I know you're not"""

"The weatherman is telling us to expect 8 to 9 inches, but he's probably lying."

"starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes"