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Joke of the Day

"starting to realize that maybe the only reason i go to see movies in theaters is so i dont hav to face my reflection during dimly lit scenes"

"Do you know what Twitter is? It's the spot between your twat and shitter."

"Every funeral is open-casket if you've got a crowbar and a sense of adventure."

"What does it sound like to shoot yourself in the foot twice? Pao! Pao!"

"Why do comedians always have such bad sleeps? Because they fall asleep funny!"

"Unpopular opinion: this joke is bad"

"What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? beer"

"Having no tattoos in 2014, is like having tattoos in 1967."

"Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation."

"Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."""