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Joke of the Day
"What do you get if you push a piano down a mine? A flat miner"
Next Joke
"If you can read this please let me know because, it means I blocked the wrong person. I'm still getting used to this Stupid timeline!"
"This Summer, I've been grilling on the roof of my apartment. The steaks have never been higher."
"Wife was talking for a while so I pulled out my iPod & played her off award show style. This did not go over as well as I hoped."
"I like to make a sandwich with just cucumbers and pickles... I call it the Before and After"
"What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts? You see L.A."
"""asparagai"" is what i call multiple asparagus, but don't take my word for it. get your own word for multiple asparagus"
"Him: You're pretty obnoxious. You know that? Me: I'm sorry. All I heard was pretty."
"Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? On a bed of lettuce!"
"What is the scariest thing about a white man in jail? ...you know he did it."