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Joke of the Day

"Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars."

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"Nature tip: if you're attacked by a cougar, tickle its belly. It will kill you but at least your last memory will be of petting a cuddly cat"
"My wife started clipping coupons to help me save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse."
"Expendables 4 (Rated R): Tom, Sylvester & Wiley Coyote coldly hunt down & eat Jerry, Tweety & Roadrunner. Directed by Quentin Tarantino."
"Shoutout to Amy Winehouse She's been drug free for 5 years now"
"One for the science guys: Q) How do you make a hormone? A) Don't pay her!"
"Necrophiliacs love going out on expiration dates."
"Tomorrow is Saturday... ...that means i only have to worry about work, i don't have to actually be there."
"A comma is the difference between ""Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton."" and ""Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton."""
"Why was the black man arrested? Good question."