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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow is Saturday... ...that means i only have to worry about work, i don't have to actually be there."

"Divorce I consider myself pretty lucky in my divorce because we negotiated a 50-50 split of our assets. My wife got half, my lawyer got half."

"do you think the guy who designed hand grenades really hated pineapples, or really loved them?"

"My Bill Cosby impression use to get me laughs at the bar... ...but now when I do it, I end up with a criminal record."

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ~ Knock knock. *Who's there?* Not Sally"

"Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids."

"(Computer science) I asked a Texan if he's seen his family tree, he said, ""you mean family graph?"""

"What do you call a starting indie dev? No Game No Life"

"Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"Ace of Base and the Lords of Acid meet in a bar and neutralize each other"