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Joke of the Day

"I used to do the hokey pokey everyday... ... But then I turned myself around."

"I fill my pockets with glitter so when people ask me for money, I can turn them out to show that I'm broke, but still a little fancy."

"So /r/The_Donald... That's it, what a joke."

"Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours."

"A man wakes up in a hospital, after a serious accident. He yells ""Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor responds ""I know. I amputated your arms."""

"Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run for president ""I will not vote for Hillary,"" she said. ""The last Clinton president left a bad taste in my mouth."""

"Rey should really make herself a new lightsaber. The one she has now has 100% hand loss rate. \\\_()_/ "

"A man walks into a bar... Ow."

"What do you call a 90's sitcom star's inactivated x chromosomes? Roseanne Barr bodies heh"

"Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants."