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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 90's sitcom star's inactivated x chromosomes? Roseanne Barr bodies heh"

"I've got a new job. I'm helping out a one-armed typist whenever she needs to type a capital letter. It's shift work"

"I noticed that he called her 'donkey' all night, I asked why and she said....... HEEE-AWWW, HEE-AWWW, HEEEE-AAAALWAYS CALLS ME THAT!"

"What grades did Fidel Castro get at school? Full Marx"

"Did you hear about the woman who replaced her addiction to ornithology with alcohol? She was described as being off her tits."

"What do particle physicists like to drink? Pina colliders."

"My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence."

"Alcohol is like photoshop for reality."

"Did you hear about the guy that got shot in the back of the head in a movie theater? He was sitting in front of pee wee herman."

"My local grocery store has a special deal going on at the self scan aisle, buy one get like 30 free."