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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a 90's sitcom star's inactivated x chromosomes? Roseanne Barr bodies heh"

"What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common? Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout ""JESUS CHRIST!"""

"Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back"

"[throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably."

"What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral? One less drunk."

"Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water? Because these colors don't run."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ^^^Get ^^^it? ^^^To ^^^get ^^^to ^^^""the ^^^other ^^^side""? ^^^She ^^^was ^^^trying ^^^to ^^^kill ^^^herself."

"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"

"My friends are like ""hey come camping with us this weekend"" & I'm like ""I can't, I have to get new friends"""

"A small joke Old people at weddings say to me ""your next"" I do the same to them at funerals *-*"