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Joke of the Day
"I bought a friend an elephant for his room. He said, ""Thanks!"" and I said, ""Don't mention it"""
Next Joke
"When the Jews wandered in a desert for four whole decades, surely it went from epic fail to epoch fail"
"I'm still disappointed that The Phantom Menace was never nominated for an Academy Award... ...for Best Animated Film."
"TIFU by getting arrested for taking a clock to school"
"I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added ""Mother*ucker"" to his vocabulary."
"[feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk"
"Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard. ""Does any one know what that is?"" ""Yes,"" says Tommy. ""My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."""
"Did you hear about the swingers.. that got kicked out of the swap meet?"
"Why do girls always walk in groups of odd numbers? Because they can't even..."
"Never ever... Never trust a midget that tells you your wife's hair smells nice."