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Joke of the Day

"My cellphone is incredibly acidic... It's a pH one"

"Difference between a 14 year old girl and a Volvo? I don't have a Volvo BOUND AND GAGGED IN MY BASEMENT"

"When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like Fidel Castro ... ... not screaming in terror, like his victims."

"What was Boaz like before he got married? Ruthless."

"Justin Bieber will be an old man someday and it will be hilarious."

"I dated a schizophrenic once... ...but I had to break it off because he kept seeing other people."

"Doctor Doctor I've a split personality Well you'd better both sit down then!"

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he gets drunk."

"Is it still a walk of shame if I'm leaving my own house? It ain't like I'm proud of what happened in there."

"I was so close to a threesome last night... I was only missing 2 people"