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Joke of the Day

"I'm still disappointed that The Phantom Menace was never nominated for an Academy Award... ...for Best Animated Film."

"*On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE."

"I recently found out that I'm colorblind... It came out of the purple."

"Think about a future where humanity has no choice but to leave earth. It's unsettling"

"It's not called ""Laura the Explorer"" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI."

"Why does noddy have bell on his hat? Because he is a cunt."

"Why doesn't Marty McFly drink wine? Too many Tannens."

"A small joke... A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks ""I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"" The doctor replies ""Yes, but you will have to be a little patient""."

"""Here, throw this away for me."" ~ People who hand out leaflets."

"If you've been unemployed for a while, update your resume to say youve been a Blockbuster manager for the last decade. HOW WOULD THEY KNOW!?"