216553

Joke of the Day

"Boxing is probably the most applicable martial art to the street... If you run away, you probably won't get hit."

"I think my daughter might turn out to be the next Martin Scorsese! (Her eyebrows are fucking terrifying)"

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? I can't tell it to ya, it's too cheesy"

"Just reminding everyone on the sub, 9/11 jokes aren't funny. They're plane wrong."

"I sex you, but I'm not 'in sex' with you."

"My boss asked me to pick him something cheap up to eat for lunch he wasn't too happy when I came back with his daughter."

"How do you know humans can't reincarnate as insects? You've ever gotten one bug bite not on your crotch (or tits)."

"Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter."

"Leave everyone stranded at a bank robbery to play laser tag when you're the get away driver and suddenly no one is your friend anymore"

"Women and not being attractive If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."