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Joke of the Day

"Last night I finally slept with a woman who has a Coke bottle figure. Unfortunately, she was a 3 liter."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and windows 10 Just after windows 10 was released, Arnold was asked if he was ever going to upgrade to windows 10. His response? 'I still love Vista, baby.'"

"Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever."

"How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short."

"Why do they call a wolf a wolf? Because it goes wolf!"

"A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""hey, why the long face?"" The horse says, ""I have cancer."""

"Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian."

"*During math test* My answer: 28. Answer choices: 17, 19, 26, 45. Me: ""well 26 is closer to 28, so that must be the answer."""

"What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bale"

"I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the ""How did you prepare for today?"" red carpet question with ""Cocaine and sit ups."" #GoldenGlobes"