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Joke of the Day

"*at funeral* ME: I know how you feel FRIEND: Dont bring up the time you only got yel-- ME: One time I only got yellows in my Starburst pack"

"What do you call dinosaur sluts? Herpevores"

"This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris... ... Effectively crippling the French military."

"I can't believe the fired me at the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in."

"What happens in Vegas will most likely cost you a fortune in dry cleaning."

"Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life."

"What was Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue eyes white aryan"

"Sext: You are a butterfly. I am a caterpillar. Surprise twist, I am Chris Hansen in a caterpillar suit. You are under arrest."

"What's left when a jew takes a shower? Their shackle"

"Charlie Sheen's herpes have herpes and those herpes have gonorrhea and that gonorrhea had an abortion in high school."