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Joke of the Day

"What's left when a jew takes a shower? Their shackle"

"Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant Me: Oh my god [later that day] Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That's for inventing milk"

"The year is 2075. A student asks how World War 3 began. The teacher responds with ""Well, James Franco and Seth Rogen made a movie..."""

"In a physio waiting room amongst athletes comparing their stories. I can't wait until my turn when I tell them I slept wrong on my pillow."

"Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible."

"What do you call a centaur that can't get a blow job The headless horseman"

"I'd like to tell a joke about Dratini... Only urbanites will get it."

"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state capital? Albunny New York!"

"911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us."

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her B-shells."