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Joke of the Day

"Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life."

"How do they call women that don't suck dick? They don't call them at all."

"What's a redditor's favourite sword move? Riposte!"

"Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an accident? He'll be all right."

"Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream."

"I found a bloodsucking vampire in my house today. I don't know how the lawyer got in but I had to chase him out with a broom."

"That's Odd. I can't even."

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"Did you hear about the suspect who's alibi was that he was at a restaurant? Well the restaurant Carraba-rated his story."