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Joke of the Day
"To quote my late father... ""Traffic is heavier than I expected."""
Next Joke
"Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is trying to remember what I wanted when calling in my take out order."
"What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it? Bro, do you even function?"
"My brother pointed to his coffee table and said ""those are my new gloves"" He's always making off-hand remarks like that"
"I have a phobia of over engineered buildings... It's a complex complex complex."
"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."
"What do you call an alien civil rights activist? Martian Luther King jr."
"Do you have eggs for breakfast? Kevin bacon"
"What does your mom and a 4-stroke engine have in common? They're both usually busy doing one of the following: sucking, squeezing, banging, blowing."
"I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it."