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Joke of the Day

"What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it? Bro, do you even function?"

"Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said ""pls make the sadness disappear."" LAUGH OUT LOUD"

"You know why I Hate Carpools? Everytime I go through a tunnel my wrist hurts."

"Found $12 bucks today! Well, it was in my daughters purse, but I figure she owes me at least $50,000 by now."

"Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?"

"Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke."

"I've just got my own valet and found people treat you completely differently. He's opened a lot of doors for me."

"Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me."

"A woman goes into a doctor's with a bit of lettuce sticking out the top of her panties. Doctor: Oh, that looks nasty. Woman: That's just the tip of the iceberg doctor."

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow Bubbles? Well, Bubbles is back in town and he's looking for your number."