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Joke of the Day

"My brother pointed to his coffee table and said ""those are my new gloves"" He's always making off-hand remarks like that"

"Q: What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life? A: Third grade."

"I used to think maths was useless but then one day I realised that decimals had a point"

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee"

"Did you hear about the new viagra eye drops? They just make you look hard."

"What sexual position produces the ugliest babies? Go ask your mother."

"If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo."

"How did the executioner learn about knots? By watching the noose."

"So Ron Jeremy... ...makes his money with his penis. I've also heard that his penis is so long, he can suck it himself. Which means that Ron Jeremy can literally put his money where his mouth is."

"*on the subway* CUTE GUY: [mouths ""hi""] PRETTY GIRL: [mouths ""hi"" back] ME, IN BETWEEN THEM: [exaggeratedly mouths ""YOU GUYS LIKE HOTDOGS""]"