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Joke of the Day

"The Monkey Do you know why the monkey fell out of the tree because he was fucking dead."

"Abraham Lincoln. The reason I now have to hire a dishwasher instead of buying one."

"Knock knock.... Who's there?.... Whale.... Whale who? Whale that's enough of that joke"

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"What insulator has the greatest electrical resistance? your mohm"

"I had this nightmare that Salma Hayek and Kevin Hart were trying to tell me something at the same time and expected me to understand it"

"What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler? How red their necks are."

"Why do girls like to have a dog? Because it suits their personality, a bitch."

"How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday! "

"BEN CARSON: On the news I saw a portal to another dimension open & robots came out, we need to stop that MODERATOR:That was The Avengers sir"