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Joke of the Day

"If I wrote an autobiography I bet it wouldn't sell Story of my life.."

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today? Abraham Lincoln."

"I could never be on The Bachelor. I don't need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It's bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday."

"How to get the attention of a crew of bricklayers... Yell ""Eh, Tony!"""

"There was a black-out in my city last night. The police said stay in doors until they shot him."

"Guy shoves plastic farm animals up his butt Doc says his condition is stable."

"finally found a way to refer to myself + dog in a way that's creepier than the mother/child dichotomy: FUR HUSBAND and SKIN WIFE"

"What's the most eco friendly subreddit? /r/Jokes because over 90% is recycled garbage."

"In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks."